I was born in Massachusetts, and therefore am contractually obligated by God to be obsessed with any and all things Kennedy, and WOW, can I say I am so excited for this movie. How beautiful and chilling is this trailer? I feel more cultured just looking at the damn freeze frame. And yes Jackie looks like it's going to be hyper-super-duper stylized (it's also not a "traditional" biopic in that it takes place only over the few days following the President's assassination) but I think that's what is going to make the film so great.
In terms of Natalie Portman playing Jackie Kennedy, I think it's a genius casting move. Portman is definitely much more of a shrimp than the First Lady was, which I find a tad bit distracting but, like, whatever, because Portman definitely DOES have that intimidating I-am-so-beautiful-and-chic-and-rich-and-yet-maybe-slightly-depressed air about her that Jackie had....sorry Katie Holmes, but your crooked Ohio smile is far too joyful for these shenanigans. And that ACCENT—totally insane, yes, but all I know is that whenever I go to the JFK museum in Boston (which I obviously visit on the reg while rotating through my vast collection of pillbox hats) and hear old recordings of Jackie Kennedy speaking, she actually DOES sound like that. (All the old people be shaking their heads, like, yep, she damn sure did.) It's pretty cray. Like, whhhhy did women used to speak that way? Should it make a comeback?
"But make suuuure you get me the coooooald brew at Dunkin' Donuts dahling and not that regularrrr," she said in a bizarre girlish whisper befitting a girl of age four before tightening the silk scarf around her neck and checking Instagram with a glazed over sex look in her perfectly eye-linered eye. Is this way of speaking at least better than vocal fry? Or wait is that vocal fry? Hmm, I haven't had breakfast and now I want fries...
Whatever, the most important thing to know about the movie is that Greta Gerwig is in it, and therefore that means it actually will be perfect. And the clothes. Not to be all like that....but THE CLOTHES. That pale green dress always kills me.
Anyway, hey, it's almost the weekend!
Like much of America, I woke up this Tuesday morning planning big things. Maybe shower. Maybe clean the bathroom. Maybe watch the first few minutes of a yoga video while eating granola and then be like "nah, I'm gonna watch Better Things on FX instead." But then we all FOUND OUT.
And I don't even know what to think. I want to say "well, love is clearly dead" but maybe love actually died when Brad left the first wife he had made vows to for another woman? But, like, whatever, shit happens, and we had all moved on as a country and ACCEPTED Brad and Angie as the duo that was actually built to last. And now they're coming at us with this shit?!? Unacceptable. I mean, I even considered watching that weird seaside french movie they made together once! But then I didn't. The point is, I do actually feel kind of sad about it. They got so many children, yo! Also, how much weed does Brad Pitt smoke? Is he just vaping left and right in a fedora on his minimalist couch all day OR WHAT? And what happens to their line of wines, now? And their villa in France? And do they not remember when all the kids drew all over her wedding dress? I have so many questions.
In all seriousness, my parents are divorced and I turned out totally fine (ha! HA!), so Shiloh, Knox, Z,, the rest of you whose names I can't remember—guys, my blog door is open if you need to chat.
Uh. RIP BRANGELINA.
(For real though, are you watching Better Things? That and Atlanta = my new fav shows.)
I feel like there are two schools of thought on sharing your goals:
1) it's stupid. don't tell anyone, just be an adult and do it
2) tell people, that way your friends at least have a chance to rip the mudslide out of your hands and be like "but you said NO MORE THAN THREE MUDSLIDES TONIGHT you know they GIVE YOU A STOMACH ACHE!!!"
Anyhow, I think option 1) is probably-to-most-definitely correct, at least with those big, important life goals. Like, "I'm going to try to be a nicer, more patient person this year" or "I'm going to write my grandfather a letter once a week." Maybe keep those to yourself. But unimportant goals like, "I want to learn how to blend foundation better on my jawline"? Those are ripe for sharing! What else is blogging for!
This is a long-winded way of me saying that for someone who writes movies I am horrible at watching them. I basically just watch the same movie over and over again (either Something's Gotta Give or A League of Their Own) while simultaneously eating yogurt. But that's about to change! Because here I am PUBLICLY declaring my new goal of watching more movies! And I'm starting with the Coen Brothers.
Okay, so recently I went to a wedding in St. Petersburg. And not St. Petersburg, Florida you plebes—St. Petersburg, Russia. (Hence my new favorite sentence "this one time, when I was at wedding a stone's throw from the Winter Palace...") Anyhow, horribly hungover on the flight home from the most decadent weekend of my life, I watched the entire second season of FARGO on the plane. I didn't sleep a wink. Basically, if you haven't watched season 1 or 2 of FARGO on FX drop whatever breakfast burrito you're eating and get thee to the nearest Apple TV stat. Cause, I mean, how good is that shit? SO CHOICE. (BTW, that's how my skills as a media reviewer work. Real prime.) For seriousness though, the combination of the acting, writing and cinematography in season 2 is enough to make a avalanche of Emmy's come pouring down the side of Noah Hawley's house and into the bathtub where he's currently taking a bubble bath at any moment. He should be careful.
FYI: Below is Noah Hawley, aka God. I bet he doesn't take bubble baths because he's too busy being a cinematic multi-threat genius who casually writes best-selling novels on the side, but he should take more baths. He deserves them.
Anyhow, when I got home I listened to a couple of interviews Mr. Hawley gave promoting the second season. He spoke (duh) about how all of the Coen Brothers movies have influenced each season of FARGO, not just the original film itself. And as I was sitting there on my bed and sweating out all the Beluga vodka I had consumed in Russia, I realized I have seen very little of the Coen Brothers oeuvre. (Yeah, that's right, I just wrote oeuvre. I went to film school. I sort of have to say things like that now.)
Don't get me wrong, I've seen a good amount of the Coen's biggest hits: Fargo and The Big Lebowski (but only once...) and I did see No Country For Old Men in theatres, but that was completely by accident. (I thought for some I was going into the sequel to Brokeback Mountain. Turns out those two movies are very different!) But Raising Arizona! Barton Fink? O Brother Where Art Thou? Nope, nope, and nope.
But the thing about dedicated movie-watching that is often so hard for me (#mylifeissohard) is that I have trouble focusing if I'm not sitting in a theatre. Like, I just like watching movies in theatres. I like sitting in the dark where I would never even think to take my phone out to check Instagram because I'm not a heathen, I like gigantic screens, I like overpriced popcorn and I like watching things with other people. So until I get that private home theatre I'm gunning for, it's hard for me to watch old movies with the same focus I give the new releases I (frequently) go to in theatres. (Shout-out to going to movies in theatres so that they're still around in 20 years!)
But you know what? I'm just going to GET BETTER at it. Some people train for marathons or study for a CPA exam: I'm gonna train not to check IMDB five times during a movie just so I can see where I know that cashier from. Plus, I think there's a lot to learn by going through a filmmakers oeuvre chronologically. (Gretchen was right: oeuvre is SO going to happen!) Okay, maybe I only think this because I took one class in grad school where we literally had to watch all of Martin Scorcese's movies chronologically, but it was freaking awesome. (And yes, we watched them all in a silent, dark theatre and therefore I absorbed the shit out of them.) Now, I feel like Scorsese's my favorite director. But perhaps that's also just because I know his film's best, and have seen his development as an artist decade after decade? This life of ours is filled with so many unanswerable questions.
Anyhow, RAISING ARIZONA is first on the list! I know absolutely nothing about this movie other than it makes me vaguely think of that Lindsay Lohan flick GEORGIA RULE? (Also, this is why people who find out I write movies and then ask me any questions about them usually end up walking away from me at parties.)
As Oprah would say, thank you for coming along on this Coen Brothers journey with me! Now go watch FARGO season 2!
Hi! I'm Caroline.